People of Towson

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These are some of the many nut jobs at Towson.

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Fro - AKA Oak, Oakie-Fro, Art Garfunkal, Cimball, and sometimes even Brian.

Yes folks, it is true, someone else from under the Mason-Dixon line goes to Towson. This guy comes from the land of cat-squirells and sooners (which we now found out means cheaters!). Although slow on land, this kid can swim faster than a...speeding...fish (sorry but it was all i could think of)? Which is very wierd considering that Oklahoma has no oceans around it. It does have a few swamps were you can here, "HEY MA! LOOK I'M SWIMMING."

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Charlie - AKA Chucky, the kid with the annoying voice, the kid who analyzes films too much, the kid with the mac, and the kid who likes shit for music.

This Towsonite is known to "Rock the Suburbs" unfortunately. Not only does he have shitty taste in music but he owns "The Stepmom" and a Mac (That has to be the most embarrassing combination of things to own). His imitation voice has to be the most annoying thing known to man kind. I do have to give him credit, he wrestled the biggest jackass at Towson...I would put his name up but he would cry...and we don't want that...hang on yeah we do.

I think the wall on Steven's hall put it best when it said...

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Jeremy Kahn - AKA the kid who breaks things, Perry's accomplice, and bigger than Ron Jeremy Kahn.

This guy can break more things in a day than a tornado can do in a lifetime (God this Physical Geography is getting to me). I'd have to say the most impressive thing he has done at Towson is log roll a trash can...yes you heard me...log roll a trashcan. Other moments of remembrance include throwing a chair, a crate, and a shopping cart off a bridge. Also he has beat the crap out of Perry while he was taped up. And how could I foget when he humped a statue with his pants down!

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Derek - AKA Half Life loser, Guy who uses the phone in the corner of the hall.

Although he may think he is a pimp in Half Life he couldn't be more of the opposite. What does he expect when playing against the likes of Fro (see above). There must be something wrong with his phone's reception too, cause it only seems to work in the corner of my hallway. He also thinks he is good a basketball...of course he isn't. Now I know why he goes by Fakederek.

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Matt - AKA Twenty-Second Man, Dave, and Fourteenth Floor Boy

Some say he is called 20-second man cause he can only play that much of a song...but we all have suspicion that the name has another origin. Besides that he has the second best taste in music next to Charlie. Some names include Dave Matthews and John Mayer (who the fuck is that?) He also has a guitar but doesn't know how to play...kinda like his idle, Dave Matthews.

Towson